My oldest son got his private pilot’s license last year.
Today he was telling us about how he has to practice stalls in the air, and how if you don’t do it right you can send the plane into a nosedive and a tail spin.
Right after he told me that story, he asked if he could get a motorcycle.
This is a kid who loves adventure.
Whenever he travels and I ask him where’s he staying or how he plans to pay for stuff, he usually shrugs and says, “I’ll figure it out.”
If I told you he was 18, would you be surprised?
Teenage boys are:
Impulsive.
Risky.
Hard to insure.
Their frontal lobes are still developing.
My son, Gavin, never asks, “What would happen if…?”
His mantra is:
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
Right now, so many of us are asking “What’s going to happen if________?” kinds of questions.
The future is uncertain. And maybe even a little scary. Of all the things I ever imagined could disrupt my daily life, I never imagined a deadly, contagious virus being one of them.
But just because I never imagined it doesn’t mean I can’t figure out how to do life in the midst of it.
You may be feeling stressed because of a change in your current job situation. Maybe your vacation plans got canceled. Your kids aren’t in school. The way you operate is totally different than it was even a month ago.
As our circumstances change, our vision for our lives does, too.
And I’ve found that I can only make sense of these circumstances within the context of my relationships.
Did you know that one of the most powerful indicators of a thriving life are the quality of your relationships? The warmth of people’s relationships has the most significant impact on human flourishing. (Beyond Happy, 121)
Remember when I asked my son where he was going to be sleeping on that recent spring break trip? He was fully prepared to sleep in an eno in a park, in the car, or even to pay off a college kid to share a place on the floor in his dorm.
My advice to him: Don’t be an idiot.
And don’t go anywhere by yourself.
“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.”
You may never go up in a plane that was built in 1971 like my son, Gavin. You may never take a road trip without an itinerary or a reservation.
But you have encountered what it means to pivot. Covid-19 made sure of that. Our lives have taken a nosedive. We are smack dab in the middle of our own metaphorical tailspin. And I have to be honest—it doesn’t feel exciting or exhilarating.
It feels scary.
But that’s the very definition of adventure: an unusual and potentially hazardous experience that involves risk.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
How are you making sense of all the uncertainty? Are your relationships helping you stay grounded? What’s your next, logical step? Who is keeping you accountable?
Like toddlers who put everything in their mouths (don’t do that, by the way), we are feeling our way through a new and unfamiliar world. Small children must learn to walk and run and jump, turn doorknobs, sort shapes, feed, wash, and dress themselves. They have definitive opinions about what they will drink and in what cup. In their quest to be independent, they are forging the very relationships that will ensure their mutual interdependence on one another for a lifetime.
For them, everyday is an adventure!
When it feels like the world is going into a tailspin, I’m glad we have each other.
I am learning how to work and do school while living in this new reality. The way I shop and spend time with friends is unfamiliar and awkward. I have to re-learn how to do some things that used to be very routine to me.
And so my advice to myself is the same as the advice I gave to my son: Don’t be an idiot, but don’t try to do everything by yourself either.
What we are experiencing right now will shape how we think and live in the future. Culture is changing every single day. Who we take with us is the most important decision we can make right now.
“A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him...will never be able throw away his life.”
My prayer for you is that you’ll thrive—FLOURISH—in this new space. Let’s not allow each other to go down in flames. Your people are your parachute. Social distancing can’t change that.
And don’t forget—within the epicenter of every scary adventure, the promise of opportunity and innovation lives, too.
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