This week’s WINsday on Wednesday is dedicated to all the women who’ve ever felt like they didn’t measure up. Who tried to do all the things and came up short. Who are looking for a sign to tell them what to do. Because sometimes you don’t want to be the one who has to make all the decisions.
You know what I mean when I say that, right?
You want to be the best mom, wife, and career woman. You just aren’t cutting it this week. Overwhelm creeps in. Exhaustion takes over.
Your normal energy and determination fades.
You start to doubt whether you really have what it takes to do anything at a level that makes you proud of yourself.
On these days, you feel like everybody else is doing this life thing WAY better than you.
I had one of those days on Sunday, and honestly I don’t think I’ve recovered yet.
I hosted a huge group of middle schoolers at my house over the weekend, and then I got in a fight with my husband over a misunderstanding about time. The dumbest!
Me: “Why are you just now getting home?”
Him: “You had FIVE hours to clean the house!”
Me: “I know. It took FIVE hours.”
Him: “Well, I don’t understand why that wasn’t enough time.”
Me: “It was enough time. I just thought you were going to be home earlier.”
Him: “Why would I be home earlier when we don’t have to leave until 3:30?”
Me: “We’re not leaving at 3:30. We’re leaving at 2:30.”
If you’re having trouble following along, don’t worry—you are not alone—by the end of this exchange, WE didn’t even know what we were fighting about!
But here’s the thing….
Our house is for sale, we had thirty people staying in our basement all weekend, and even though it feels like no one ever comes to see our house, this weekend we ended up with two showings. That’s no excuse for acting crazy and yelling at the person I love most in this world, but that’s how some days go.
Some days, it feels like you’ve been blindsided by circumstances.
And no one wants their circumstances to rule their lives!
On Sunday, I felt like something was wrong with me.
Why did it take five hours to clean the house?
Can other people do it faster? Better?
And is it really worth it to get worked up over what time we have to leave?
We have this sign hanging in our kitchen that’s really a Bible verse:
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.”
And we were both standing directly in front of it when we were yelling at each other!
Even when we know what to do—even when the signs telling us what to do are literally staring us in the face—sometimes we come up short.
Sometimes we choose not to see what’s right in front of us.
So when you have one of those days… maybe you need to ask yourself, “What am I choosing not to see right now?”
You know, Sunday is a work day for Gavin. There’s no reason for him to be home at 2:30. Or even 3:30. He stays at work until the work gets done. And of course he would have come earlier if I had asked. But I didn’t ask. I just waited until he got home and then yelled, “Why are you just now getting home?”
I should have been happy that we were able to welcome all those kids into our home for the weekend. After all, they had a great time, and to be honest, so did we.
And I didn’t need to stress about showing the perfect house to someone else; right now, it is the perfect house for us.
As for the words Gavin and I exchanged, let me just say we are lucky that we love each other unconditionally.
Sometimes, it’s easy to take our frustrations out on the people we love the most. Who am I kidding? Not sometimes—always—always it’s easy to take our frustrations out on the people we love the most.
Because we know the people that love us back will forgive us.
And I wasn’t mad at him.
I was frustrated with myself.
Because I didn’t get what I wanted.
I was jealous because I was home cleaning and organizing and washing and putting things away, and it felt like I was doing it all by myself.
There’s nothing glamorous about mopping floors on a Sunday afternoon.
When you encounter hard days, and you definitely will, what do you need to remember?
Do you need to remember that somebody trusts you to take care of everything at home? Or that somebody trusts you to lead a team at work? Do you need to remember that your identity is not found in the everyday things you do, but rather in the person you are? Do you just need to pause and remember to look at the signs that are all around you?
“Let your conversation be always full of grace…”
Can you relate? I'd love it if you’d leave a comment to let me know. I read every reply, and your thoughts are precious to me.
If you had a sign hanging in your kitchen, what would it say?