Is the Covid-19 pandemic the “biggest setback for women in decades?”
According to writer, Jessica Valenti, the answer is yes. She asserts that Covid-19 has assured that women are “forced back into the domestic sphere” and that “there’s no progress for women if we’re kept from the public sphere.” (Emphasis mine)
And this is the problem I’ve always had with feminism:
That women’s empowerment equals work outside the home, that we have continued to define our worth in terms of what it means to be a man. And what it means to be a man, evidently, is work that has nothing to do with kids, cooking, or cleaning.
As if escaping that particular domestic prison will somehow free us from years of virtual slavery. “We were made for more!” we chant. “We want equality!” we scream.
The truth is you were made for more, and equality is a worthy ambition.
Absolutely.
A hearty YES.
To all of it.
But before you throw aside “home,” let’s take a look at it from a different point of view.
G.K. Chesterton (who also has one of my favorite quotes about motherhood), said this about home:
“The place where babies are born, where men die, where the drama of mortal life is acted, is not an office or a shop or a bureau. It is something much smaller in size and much larger in scope. And while nobody would be such a fool as to pretend that it is the only place where people should work, or even the only place where women should work, it has a character of unity and universality that is not found in any of the fragmentary experiences of the division of labour.”
Home might be a humble place to be, but it is huge in the way that it shapes the human heart. In fact, home has often been described as the place we long for—more than where we’re from or where we lay our heads at night—it is the place that brings us the most joy.
The Beginning
And I think that’s why the very first thing God ever did—before he created Adam and Eve—was prepare a home for them. He made it both functional and beautiful, and it was all for them. And then maybe you noticed, too, in the New Testament, in the book of John that Jesus is described as the “Word made flesh who made his dwelling among us.” (John 1:14)
His dwelling!
In US!
And when John the Baptist’s disciples met Jesus for the first time, they said, “‘Rabbi, where are you staying?’
’Come,’ he replied, ‘and you will see.’
So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him.” (John 1:38-39)
I hope that Covid-19 doesn’t prove to be the biggest setback for women in decades.
I hope that men do step up to the plate and pitch in. It truly does take a village to raise a child, and lately we’ve found our village shrinking, so all the moms, dads, brothers and sisters, are carrying a larger load than normal. I, too, have noticed that the division of labor is not equal.
YET.
But that doesn’t mean that we’re not getting there.
While the pandemic may set women back in terms of work outside the home, I do believe that inside the home, they are being appreciated more than ever before. Women were, are, and will continue to be the quintessential essential worker.
Hands down.
Women with side hustles and women who are building businesses once their children have reached school-age are doing everything they can to do to keep it together—and more. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we’re capable of so much more than we ever thought possible.
Remember that G.K. Chesterton quote about our homes? Here’s what he said about motherhood:
“How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe?
How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”
The Truth
I think the pandemic has given us all a chance to reflect on where we are and what we truly want our lives to look like. In fact, I have a friend who is a Vice President at a large national corporation. Before the pandemic she was often getting up at 5:00 AM and heading out on a plane for a week of meetings at various venues. Since March, she’s been working exclusively from home and hasn’t traveled at all. You know what she told me? She said that home has always been her safe place. She has always loved walking in the door after being gone all week. “I’m home,” she’d breathe as she crossed the threshold and her family embraced her. “Now,” she says, “I’m getting more sleep. I’m not exhausted all the time. I’m reading more books, and instead of spending free time planning for the next presentation, I’m exercising and making memories with my girls. I love being home. It’s the best place in the world.”
Perhaps one day soon she’ll be back on a plane. She’s a talented executive, after all, and her income allows their family some pretty sweet perks—like a backyard pool, private school, and several vacations a year.
But my friend knows that home is lovely, too.
And yet we continue to strive and climb and claw our way out of our comfortable homes in search of something—I don’t know what—as if we’re wasting our lives if we choose to do anything other than what’s commonly referred to as “men’s work.”
You want respect? Be proud of the world you’ve created for your family. Who says you’re wasting anything?
Instead of complaining about the unfair balance, what if instead you patted yourself on the back, because you know you’re not only capable but also thriving in this new world?
Men vs. Women
Study after study has shown that women are able to juggle more than men. They don’t compartmentalize ideas and tasks, but are more like a computer in that can keep many tabs open at once. With brains that are more symmetrical than those of men, the two sides are able to “talk” to one another. Additionally, women experience emotions on a deeper level, which is helpful in how women relate and respond to the myriad new challenges being thrown at us right now.
I wholeheartedly do agree with so many things about the women’s movement. I’m for equal pay for equal work, and I’m against discrimination and sexual harassment in the workplace.
But I often wonder—if values like homemaking, cooking, and caring for children were prized in society for what they really are—beautiful ways to honor our families and strengthen the ties that bind us—would more women endeavor to do it? If we gave homemaking the honor it deserves, would more women proudly declare their status as “just a mom”? Is the thing in us that makes us want more the very thing that makes us feel like we’re less?
“The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else.”
Please, just stop it.
Stop comparing yourself to men.
C.S. Lewis said,
If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
One day, you will enter a home that will satisfy all your earthly longings.
Until that day, my friend, keep going. You are doing a good work.
And we know that’s true because Jesus even said, “My father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2)
Home Sweet Home.
Want more good stuff?
0 Likes Share