Mature women everywhere…REJOICE!
I bet you never thought somebody would say that, did you?
But here’s what I love about getting older. Standard of living usually—(and I mean USUALLY)—increases as age increases.
And that’s pretty awesome: those larger paychecks make the “big” house, the boat, multiple vacations a year, and the fancy car possible.
But I’ve also discovered something disturbing:
A lot of people I know love their lifestyle and hate their life.
Impossible, but true.
And the thing is: I don’t even think they’re going to do anything about it!
When you’ve been around as long as I have, it’s easy to put things on autopilot. You tell yourself that the pension you’re going to get when you retire is worth the misery you’re experiencing now. I have a friend who’s committed to working twelve more years in a government job she finds boring and tedious. Twelve years! To turn her back now on that kind of future financial promise is a leap she just can’t make.
But is it worth it?
My husband is getting ready to leave his comfortable job to venture out on his own after 15 years working in a church. It’s a huge leap of faith, and I’m so proud of him because when he tells our friends about his hopes and dreams for his new career, I see the longing in their eyes. They wish they were the ones embarking on a new adventure!
I hear our friends say things like:
I’m too old to change careers.
Who’s going to hire me now?
What if I have to take a pay cut to do the thing I really want?
What will my family do without the consistency of a steady paycheck?
But can you afford not to?
If I were ask you what makes a fulfilling life, my guess is that almost all your answers would be things that are free or almost free. When you create more space and time in your life, you not only discover new opportunities waiting for you but also you find that you are more open and willing to accept them for what they are: not lucky circumstances, but real possibilities.
Love and relationships matter more than money and things.
We know this intrinsically, but we are afraid of the risk. As we get older, we’re not just responsible for ourselves. We have spouses and children who depend on us. We have mortgages and college tuition to pay. Some of us may even be caring for aging parents. The risks are real and anything but trivial.
And the reality is we like the house and the car and the vacations.
Our status symbols have become our status quo.
Depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States among people ages 15-44. It ranks among the top three workplace issues, along with family crisis and stress. (source) According to Fast Company Magazine, nearly 50% of six-figure salaried workers are plotting a job change this year. People are asking themselves, “What do I really want…for my family, from my job, in my life? The answer to those questions will have a direct impact on our future psychological and spiritual well-being.
My husband knew that the time was right to make a change. “If not now,” he said, “then when?” Even though we have two kids in college, five cars (because—teenagers!), a mortgage to pay, and kids in private school, we couldn’t keep putting off the decision. If we waited for the perfect time, we knew we would never make the leap. There would always be something tying us to where we are. He’s making the change because everything he’s done up until now has been preparing him for THIS. VERY. MOMENT.
You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and still feel empty.
What has God been preparing you to do?
Here are 5 things to consider as you ponder what’s next for you:
1) Often other people recognize our aptitudes before we do. Ask the people closest to you what gifts they see in you. Their answers might surprise you.
2) You don’t have to have your entire life journey planned out. Few people do. Life is organic, not linear. Be willing to explore new possibilities and the next right step will reveal itself.
3) Find a community that shares your values and inspires your ideas. I used to be a part of a cohort of entrepreneurs through an organization called Plywood People. I count the five years I spent with those women among the most growth-orienting years of my life. What I learned from them could not be replicated anywhere else.
4) Kids need their parents to model purpose and meaning, not privilege and entitlement. They can sense your restlessness. They know when you’re stressed. Show them what matters by doing work that counts.
5) Work on building wisdom, not a resume. There’s so much more to life than the work you do. No experience is ever wasted. Even if your job no longer challenges you in a way that makes you feel alive, you can still find ways to engage with the world.
In our family, we like to say that when the pain of staying is worse than the fear of change, it’s time to do something different. Sometimes you know what you have to do and you just do it. Sometimes, you need to take a breath and pray about it for a season. Sometimes, even with the best intentions in mind, it just doesn’t make sense to take that leap. And that’s okay. But if you’re being called to STAY, give your work the enthusiasm it craves and give your family the attention they deserve.
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.—Dolly Parton
When my friend Melanie’s dad retired from his work as a veterinarian, he gave a charge to the employees, and this is what he said—(Melanie wrote them down, and I saved them)—
What is work? Just a platform for relationships. Whatever we do, people are involved on some front. It’s that interface that matters. Work is just the bridge that makes the connection to people. (Thank you, Mr. Rickard)
Wherever we are, we can all do that.
The best of you is yet to come!