#AllTheThings
Have you ever noticed that when celebrities get interviewed the one question they’re almost always asked is: “How do you manage to do it all?”
Do you ever wonder what you would say if you were in the hot seat and somebody asked you that question?
Sometimes, I have to admit, I actually do fantasize about being interviewed by Oprah or Ellen. “How do you manage?” they’d ask me. And I’d toss my hair and shrug my shoulders.
“It’s not easy,” I’d sigh.
Most of the celebrities being interviewed will admit that they couldn’t do all the things they do without a lot of help, and all that extra help takes something else we may feel like we don’t have—resources.
There’s two kinds of resources: renewable and non-renewable.
In the world of adulting, our most recognizable renewable resource is money. And our most recognizable non-renewable resource is time.
But if you’re wondering how you’re going to make 2020 the best year yet when the money has already been allocated and when your calendar is already full of things you’re doing, have committed to doing, and are only vaguely excited about doing, then please read on.
Money, even if we don’t feel like we have enough, is something we can always figure out how to increase.
Learning how to spend, save, and give wisely is a lifelong challenge.
Time, on the other hand (pun intended!) is something that is literally here one second and gone the next.
Want to make the most of the time you do have?
Here’s three things I learned keeping a regular ‘ol checkbook that have actually helped me prioritize and take charge of my calendar.
Some Things to Consider
1) Beware of the creep.
My calendar: Humans have been pre-conditioned to fill silence and space. Don’t put something on your schedule just because you see an empty line where an activity used to be. The creep is that indefinable, nearly inaudible voice that whispers, “Oh, I have time.” and “Ok, I don’t have anything scheduled” and “Sure, why not?” Before we know it, another year has passed, and at the end of it we find ourselves running on empty.
Ask yourself
“If I do this, will it grow my business, help my family, or enrich me personally?”
If the answer is no, don’t do it. That book club might sound like a good idea—more books!—but if you know you’re going to be stressed out making it to Wednesday night meetings, go ahead and quit. The same goes for things your kids want to do. The creep likes to tell you lies like “Everybody else is doing it, so it must be good.” Just because Thursday nights are free doesn’t mean you need to go to another practice. Maybe you need to stay home and have family dinner. Save money and time. It doesn’t matter what you pick, but you’ve got to own the day or it will find a way to own you.
2) Beware of peer pressure.
My calendar: Do you ever get that annoying little email on Sundays that tells you how much screen time you used last week? I hate it! That little email is actually a notification that sounds like a text. I always get excited thinking I just received a fun note from a friend, but nope—it’s my weekly screen time report. The report is a sober reminder that I spent too much time on my phone! This message—the one I’m typing right now—is the one I need to hear: Only check social media and respond to email after you’re done working on the things that matter most to you. No one is going to get mad because you’re a day late replying to an email, and social media will still be there when you have time to address it. Once you’ve decided what’s important to you, stay focused. For all the benefits of staying connected on social networks, there are a multitude of downsides: comparison and envy, to name just two.
Ask yourself:
“What is the real reason I’m doing this?”
If you find yourself comparing your life to your neighbor’s or simply thinking, “I wonder what’s going on with so-and-so,” then take a step back and re-evaluate your priorities. Comparison is the thief of joy, and contentment says that what we have is enough. If you need to step away from the things everyone else is doing for a season, that’s okay.
3) Beware of a one-size-fits all approach.
My calendar: Everyone has a favorite way of keeping track of her life. And a lot of people are passionate about the approach, claiming to have “tried everything” and finally finding “the perfect solution.” There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to goal setting or time tracking. I have friends who use a paper calendar to great success, some who use a bullet journal, others who plan their entire week in just 15 minutes on a Sunday, and others who utilize complicated apps that sync with all their online tools. Just as some people swear by Dave Ramsey or Suze Ormon when it comes to managing their money, you will need to find a system that works for you.
Ask yourself:
“What do I need to do to feel successful today?”
Now don’t get excited and strike everything from your to-do list this year. Instead, write it all down. Go ahead. Do a total brain dump. What do you see? Are you feeling overwhelmed?
It’s not easy, is it?
In fact, doing #allthethings is downright impossible.
But doing #allthethings we love is not impossible.
When you’ve tried and failed at a whole bunch of things, you end up learning a few things, too.
And one of them is that no matter how much you want to be that girl who does it all and has it all, you never will be her.
Because that girl would be overwhelmed, over-committed, exhausted, and worn out.
Probably broke, too.
A few years ago, I heard some good advice, and it comes in the form of a question: “What kind of life do you want to have?”
Once you’ve decided what you want your life to look like, it’s easier to filter all your opportunities through the lens of those goals—even if you’re not the most organized person in the world.
I used to think my calendar was just for appointments, all those things I had to do--the doctor’s visits and the kids’ sports practices, and meetings. But a calendar is nothing more than a fancy budget for logging your time, planning your week, and shaping your preferred future.
In the context of the life you want to have, you can begin thinking not only about what you need to delete but also about what you need to ADD. What are the things that make you feel energized, focused, purpose-filled, and mission driven?
Like your budget—with categories for rent, utilities, and insurance—some costs are fixed. Your schedule is the same. Your fixed “costs” include the time you spend attending pre-scheduled meetings or doctor’s appointments. Anything else you add should feel like an old fashioned game of “Choose Your Own Adventure”— for your health, relationships, work, etc.—Decide what’s important and plan accordingly.
White space is your friend.
Does it reflect the person you want to be?
Adding things to our schedule is not the problem. The problem is that we add things that do not align with our values or do not represent who we truly are.
Nearly everything you need to know about a person can be discovered just by looking at her checkbook and her calendar. The richest people I know invest their money and their time in causes that celebrate meaning and purpose. Time itself may not be a renewable resource, but you can be—with a little good planning.
Follow your mission, not the madness.