I have to tell you something about me: I’m 47 years old, and I’ve never had a cavity.
Until today.
I’ve been dreading today for the last six months because the last time I went to the dentist, he told me that in fact, I do have a cavity, and that he would have to fill it at my next appointment.
I’ve been counting down the last 180 days, and although I’ve had six months to prepare, believe me when I tell you that I was not ready.
Have you ever had a date circled on the calendar that you just didn’t want to arrive? In your mind, you just knew it was going to be the worst possible day.
That was me.
And then the day of the actual filling was really anti-climactic. A little numbing cream. A couple of shots, and then some weird noises, but otherwise…
BLESSEDLY UNEVENTFUL.
It’s easy to get ourselves worked up over things that MIGHT happen or COULD happen, but that doesn’t mean they WILL happen.
The scariest question in the world is WHAT IF?
The chance that your worst fear will actually happen is actually pretty low. In the case of my cavity, I was worried that it would hurt so bad that I would cry or throw up, which would be embarrassing, but not devastating. The reality, of course, is that a tiny little cavity isn’t going to kill me.
The only way to manage anxiety and fear is to face it head-on.
We have to face anxiety head-on because that’s where anxiety lives—IN OUR HEADS.
Here’s how:
Before: Channel the anxiety into something constructive. To ease your un-ease, do something to distract your mind from the thing you’re dreading. I like to practice Spanish or bake something in my kitchen. Sometimes I read or journal. Prayer always helps!
During: Remind yourself that the pain you’re experiencing is temporary. It will not last forever. (This trick helped me deliver four kids without drugs.) And again, prayer always helps. A posture of dependence can help you achieve an inner calm. It is a reminder that you are not alone.
After: Fear is a good thing. Humans are hard-wired to experience fear. That fight or flight response is exactly the thing that enables us either to hide from or attack our predators. There’s no such thing as overcoming fear, but facing our fears can help us be more confident, as we discover that surviving challenging situations is a skill-set we can own. And what you believe about the future changes how you live in the present.
WHAT IF you believed that good things are to come?
WHAT IF you believed that even this hard thing could be an invitation to learn something new about yourself or about the world?
WHAT IF you believed your experience could be an encouragement to someone else?
Many of you are dealing with issues much scarier than a little ‘ol cavity, and my heart goes out to you today. We all have both small and big things in our lives that trigger the fear response. My dad, an avid tree climber, for example, has a fear of heights. To combat that fear, he just keeps climbing higher. My older daughter hates loud noises. When she feels overwhelmed, she visualizes the most peaceful place she knows. And I have a friend battling cancer. She shares everything that’s happening—the good and the bad—and thus invites everyone she knows to join her cheering squad.
I’d love to know how you’re slaying your own fears. Share your own tips and tricks in the comments below!
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