One of my favorite books on life (and on writing) is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont:
“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said. ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”
That phrase, “bird by bird” has been a favorite mantra of mine whenever I’ve been overwhelmed by the hugeness of the tasks before me.
When my kids were in elementary school, they were required to carry an agenda. The agenda featured boxes for every subject, and the kids wrote their homework in these boxes. Each assignment included a due date and had to be signed nightly by a parent before being returned to school the next morning. I carried a similar agenda when I was in college, and I still have them because throwing them away feels akin to erasing the whole of my life. It’s as if the agenda is proof that I lived and I DID STUFF! When I graduated, I set aside the flimsy, spiral-bound agenda for a more grown-up day planner complete with a fancy leather cover. I wrote everything in it—EVERYTHING—from meetings to to-do lists to what I was having for dinner on any given night. But as the children arrived and my life became less structured I gave up the leather-clad agenda for a more practical sticky-note method of organization.
I’ll tell you a secret: The sticky-note method created a lot of challenges.
For one, I was no longer the dynamic, yet driven professional who got work done. Suddenly, I found that I had morphed into a flaky, late, last-minute, and forgetful person, a person surrounded by notes and lists scribbled on scraps and haphazardly strewn about the house.
Was the agenda of my youth comprised of magic paper?
I don’t think so, but what the real agenda did force me to do was pause. A neat and organized person will calmly open to the appropriate clearly-labeled page, review what has already been done, and take note of all upcoming work. The person who uses an agenda knows exactly where to find exactly what she needs. Bird by bird, she checks things off her list and by the end of the day, week, or year, she can clearly see all she has accomplished.
Keeping an agenda isn’t rocket science; it’s common sense. Hence, the reason my kindergartener came home with one on her very first day of school.
Our WINSday on Wednesday is inspired by my friend, Karen Seward.
Karen and I don’t talk about agendas in this episode, but what we do talk about is life. Karen is motivated and driven. She has a full-time job at a large corporation and she also finds time to do the work that speaks to her soul, something she calls Karen’s Coffee Corner. Karen has built a community, written a book, and become an accomplished motivational speaker.
How does Karen do it all? Does she have a magic agenda?
Her secret might surprise you: Karen starts the day by doing absolutely nothing.
She calls this meditation, and it’s definitely not doing nothing. Meditation is important work. When Karen first started meditating, she would set a timer for just two minutes. After years of practice, today she doesn’t need a timer at all and still spends up to thirty minutes every morning in silence. She told me that she imagines putting all her cares into a giant balloon and releasing them into the sky,. Then she focuses on simply being grateful.
I thought about my agenda, the one I’m not currently keeping. I wonder if I simply implemented the practice of meditation, if it would help keep me on track.
According to Karen, I would be:
Less Stressed
More motivated
And have increased focus
“Imagine putting all your worries in a balloon and letting them go,” Karen advises. “Your bank accounts, your 401 K, your business, and your tensions. Find a way to visually allow your worries to float away.”
In my imagination, I like the idea of not having an agenda. Wouldn’t it be fun if everyday was like being on vacation?
“I’m on ‘island time,’ baby!”
As if!
But if we want to be successful, if we want to actually DO STUFF, we would do well to go back to the beginning. My kindergartener had an agenda AND she had a nap mat. Everyday, her teacher made the entire class roll out their mats and lay there for thirty minutes. They didn’t have to go to sleep, but they did have to rest.
The first grade teacher did not include a nap mat among the long list of supplies the kids were required to bring to school.
But I wish she would have kept up the practice.
When does a person ever really stop needing a nap mat?
There’s value in the things we do as kids. It’s funny and weird that we grow up and somehow think we know more and can do better. I guess that’s true of a few things, like managing our money or navigating complicated work relationships. But if you go back to those early days of agendas and nap mats, wouldn’t you agree that you never felt more true to yourself as you did when you were five?
After thirty minutes, you rolled up your mat, sat back down at your desk, and began your work, refreshed and ready to take on the day—bird by bird.