emotions

It’s Okay to be a Crybaby

During the month of March, we’re continuing our series on women’s issues. Some formatting may be lost if you received this post via email. To get the full experience, please visit my website here.


Women cry more than men.

You heard it here first.

Just kidding.

No one needs to tell you that women cry more than men. Women have often been accused of being the “weaker” sex, the more “emotional” sex,

But is crying necessarily a BAD thing?

When was the last time you cried?

I’m the kind of girl who cries twice a year.

I’m not proud of it. It’s probably due to an emotionally repressed childhood.

Studies show that most women cry an average of 5.3 times per month, while most men cry an average of 1.3 times per month. I found these stats hard to believe—for both men and women, that sounds like a lot of crying to me—but the American Psychological Association defines crying as anything from moist eyes to full-on sobbing. By that definition, my tears are probably more in line with the average. I’m especially a sucker for a book with a sad ending. (I wish I could list them here because I count sad books among my favorite books of all, but I don’t want to spoil anything for you.)

I’ve always admired people who could cry with abandon, who cared not what others thought, but just let the tears roll freely down the cheeks. As I get older, I’m trying not to fight that stinging feeling at the edge of my eyes. I’m trying to be more present in my body, to allow myself to feel what I feel.

Tears, like good sleep and nourishing food, have a myriad of health benefits. Tears (even those associated with sadness) actually boost mood, promote empathy, and reduce aggression (by 43%!!). Not only that but tears contain salt, and salt heals.

What is this saty discharge? Jerry asks Elaine.

The Healing Properties of Tears

The antibacterial and antifungal properties of our tears have the ability to make us feel better both physically and emotionally. Tears help us self-regulate, and because tears contain oxytocin and endorphins, crying (especially during times of distress) can help reduce pain.

I used to think that I couldn’t cry unless I was literally breaking. Stress can do that to a person. And I think that especially women with young families are prone to breaking. My first daughter cried a lot when she was a baby. I suspected she had colic, and then someone told me that the definition of colic is when the baby is crying, and you are too. Check and check.

We don’t need to cry just because we are sad or because we got a papercut. If crying is this good for you, then cry when you see something beautiful, when awe overwhelms you, when love bubbles up in your chest and you cannot contain it, when gratitude fills your heart, and when thanksgiving spills out.

Cry your little eyes out and feel better. And don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you’ve already cried 5.3 times this month. Or I don’t know. Let them make you feel bad. And cry about that, too. It’s good for you!

Tell me what makes you cry. I read every reply, and I’d love to know!

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