“At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment.”
So here’s to good judgment. Here’s to learning what didn’t work. Here’s to honoring your values. Here’s to doing something new and good and significant.
1) Stop all the rushing.
“I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, thens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing....Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”
“Where’s the fire?” my grandpa used to say when we bounded in and out of the house, tiny blurs on our way to a game or the refrigerator or to slam the door in a sibling’s face. You are afraid that the world will pass you by, that if you don’t keep up, then you’re time is up. Are you happier? Are you healthier? Are you present? So take a little break—not because you have all the time in the world, but because you know you don’t. The frenetic pace is only making you stressed out and burned out. It’s time to decide what truly matters.
2) Stop being stingy with your life—give away praise, money, and influence.
“The value of a life is always measured in the amount of it you give away.”
We all know it’s better to give than to receive. Giving praise to others doesn’t mean there’s less for you. It’s time to stop being so self-centered and shift the focus to others for a change. Who can you lend your platform to? Who can you help raise up? Learning who we are and what we want is a lifelong process, but selflessness is a sure-fire cure for the insecurity you feel right now.
3) Stop eating, drinking, and sleeping like your health doesn’t matter.
“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.”
Because it does.
Eat well. Drink lots and lots of water (collagen!) and get your sleep. They call it beauty rest for a reason. Some people say they’ll sleep when they’re dead, but if you want to find yourself headed for an early grave, just keep coming up short in this area. Sleep is necessary for healing and memory, two things you’ll want to preserve in your 30s, 40s, and beyond.
It takes more strength to say no to yourself than anyone else, so don’t beat yourself up when you make bad choices, but remember—one good choice today leads to more good habits tomorrow.
4) Stop ignoring your best relationships.
“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”
I was talking with a friend going through something hard the other day, and she was apologizing for being upset about something.
“I just wish we could sit at my counter and eat cookies and drink tea instead of talking about this!” she said.
And I said, “The reason we can talk about this is because we’ve spent so much time sitting at your counter and eating cookies and drinking tea.”
All that time you thought you were wasting with your friends? That was time well spent. Try doing it with your husband, your kids, and even the people you don’t like as much but are in your life for better or for worse. Stop focusing on what makes you different from the people around you and start focusing on the things that connect you. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is befriend someone who is not like you. Influence begins when friendship is born.
5) Stop talking about your age.
“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.”
Nobody cares how old you are. Age is just a number, they say, but you never hear teenagers talking about colonoscopies, bad knees, mammograms, cellulite, wrinkles or muffin tops. It’s fun to turn 13, 16, 18, and 21. After that, a lot of people hardly acknowledge their birthdays. Even the big ones—30, 40, 50— are often marked with black balloons and “over the hill” jokes. Let’s stop it right now. Be an interesting person by continuing to do interesting things; it doesn’t matter if you’re a millenial or gen-xer or whatever. Be your wonderful self and leave the stereotypes to someone else. Whether you have new-found expertise or lifelong experience, you add value to the world. And by the way, retirement was created when most work was manual labor. Today’s work is more knowledge based. You’re not finished just because you’re older. I promise you one thing we could all use a little more of in this world is WISDOM.
When we become the best version of ourselves, the world around us becomes better too.
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