What You Did Not See
This summer, I stayed up way too late watching the Olympics. The games themselves were incredible. Like me, you were probably awed by the athleticism, feats of strength, and endurance. But I found myself moved by the profiles most of all. What kept me up so late were the stories of how the athletes got to where they are today.
Why was I surprised that some of the best athletes in the world didn’t actually spend all their waking hours on the track, at the gym, or in the pool?
The Washington Post profiled a few stand-out medalists in an article titled “Nerds and Geeks are Taking Over the Paris Olympics.”
· Gabby Thomas, the gold medalist in the 200 meter, boasts a Harvard degree in neurobiology and has a special interest in the epidemiology of sleep.
· Grant Fisher medaled in the 10,000 meters and loves computer programming and playing the piano in his free time.
· Yared Nuguse, the bronze medalist in the 1,500 meters participated on his high school’s bowling team and dreams of one day being an orthodontist. In his spare time, Nugus likes to sketch insects with charcoal pencils.
· Stephen Nedoroscik, Pommel Horse gold medalist, enjoys solving Rubik’s cubes. An engineer by trade, he approaches the pommel horse like he would an advanced physics problem.
Repetitions and practice and early mornings and eating well all play a role in an athlete’s success, but success also depends on determination, drive, and fortitude, of being able to withstand suffering when normal people would give up. They say that how you do anything is how you do everything, and so yes, of course, it’s the well-rounded ones who rise to the top. The Ivy League kids always lead the most interesting lives.
But where do they find the TIME???
There’s more to greatness than what meets the eye.
We judge other people’s fortitude by what we see on the outside, but we measure our own by what we know we possess on the inside.
Don’t you sometimes wish that people could see your inner strength?
That they knew how you’ve suffered?
What you’ve had to endure?
How hard you’ve had to work?
Don’t you think we would all be a little bit more compassionate if our real stories were broadcast on some kind of public big screen?
We keep the best parts of ourselves hidden away. Maybe we’re embarrassed or we don’t want to attract special attention to ourselves or maybe we just don’t think that what happened to us or what we endured matters all that much.
But oh, it does matter!
GAMES WE PLAY
There’s a popular ice breaker that often gets played at informal meetings. It’s called “Two Truths and a Lie,” and the gist of it is that you tell three facts about yourself and the rest of the group has to guess which statement is the false one . It’s a fun game because you always learn something surprising about the person doing the talking. In one such small group, a very unassuming girl told us that she grew up castrating pigs on her parents’ farm. We would have never guessed that that one was true!
Go figure.
THE OVERCOMERS
I remember reading an article a few years ago about the “overcomers,” how more often than not stories of success were rooted in a past that involved overcoming. We think the lucky ones are those who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but the reality is quite different.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.—Elisabeth Kubler Ross
During the Olympics gymnastics competition, I found myself rooting against the USA. I know, I know. Let me clarify. Of course, I wanted Simone Biles to shine, but how about that gymnast from Brazil? Rebeca Andrade is one of eight kids. She was raised by a single mom who cleaned houses and walked to work in order to pay Andrade’s gymnastics fees. At the age of nine, (without her mom), she moved to Rio de Janeiro in order to train. She’s an overcomer. I wouldn’t have known all that back story if NBC hadn’t done a profile. And there I was, with my mouth hanging open, saying, “Wow. She deserves this. Her family deserves this.”
Our first granddaughter was born three weeks ago, and as I sat there marveling at her perfect features--chubby cheeks, delicate nose, and tiny fingers--I also marveled at what I could not see—the future—the woman she will one day become. Some of that depends on her upbringing, of course, but a huge part of her future will be dictated by a host of traits I cannot see.
Will she be brave?
Curious?
Creative?
Only time will tell.
Invisible traits can make us feel unseen, but they are also the very traits that make us unique.
We want to give our kids the world. We don’t want them to suffer. When they gave our little granddaughter, Saige, a shot of Vitamin K just hours after she was born and her lower lip started to tremble I almost burst out crying myself.
Someone picked her up and spoke kindly in her ear and cradled her softly until she stopped crying. She will grow up knowing she is loved, but I also hope she grows up knowing that anything is possible, that the world is full of opportunity. You can be the kid quietly writing stories in your room late at night. You can practice the piano while your friends are playing video games. You can study obscure languages. You can be on the bowling team.
Just because nobody knows the real story of you doesn’t mean It doesn’t matter. Those things that you thought didn’t really matter will probably be the very things that help you achieve greatness.
You were knit together in your mother’s womb. But the rest is up to you.