At precisely 9:00 PM every night, my dog, Hammy, begins his evening ritual—which includes pacing the floor, whining, and ultimately going out one last time. Either I walk him down the street or if it’s too cold, he walks himself. When he returns, he gets a treat, and waits for me to put his diaper on.
Hammy is an old dog.
And you know what they say about old dogs. You can’t teach them new tricks.
Which is fine by me because at least with Hammy I know what I’m getting. And if I don’t want to step in a puddle in the morning, Hammy better get that diaper on before bedtime.
The Hammy-Bedtime ritual might seem like it happened by accident (no pun intended), but when you have a dog (or a baby or a husband), you know that no dog, child, or man is a match for a woman with a plan.
These rituals are important for all of us.
They act as triggers, signaling our bodies to what’s next and putting us in the right frame of mind for whatever needs to be done.
Take my kids, for example.
When they were babies, we had our own evening ritual beginning with dinner, which we ate right at 5:00 PM. Family cleanup followed, then baths and storytime, and finally everyone was ready to be tucked in. I didn’t even have to be home. As long as the sitter followed the formula, everything went smoothly. Veer from the prescribed ritual, and everyone would pay for it later.
We say we want to be spontaneous and fun, and I’m all about a good time. Who doesn’t love a surprise date in the middle of the week or an unexpected call from a long-distance friend?
But our rituals are the habits that help us stay on track. Want more success? Embrace your rituals!
It’s not boring to have a plan. It’s smart adulting.
Once you have the rituals down, everything else becomes automatic.
I have very specific morning and evening rituals because the middle of my day is usually the “messy middle.” My kids go to a hybrid home school, and our schedule varies from day to day, but when they were little I had different rituals. My small children often woke up before dawn, and there was no down-time. Sometimes, I didn’t even know if I was going to get to shower. That was okay, though, because I could usually count on an afternoon nap between the hours of two and four. I filled those two hours with the rituals that were important to me.
Maybe your kids go to bed really early. If they’re in bed by 7:00, you might have 2-3 hours to take care of business in your own life. That might mean picking up toys and cleaning the kitchen, but if there’s a way to roll these chores into the rituals that include the entire family, then go for it. For example, I assigned everyone in my young family a job after dinner. Even little ones can take a plate to the sink or put toys in a basket.
And give yourself some grace: you probably won’t be able to check off all the things on your to-do list.
And that’s not the point anyway.
Lately, I’ve had to punt on a few things I would have liked to get done in deference to the one or two things I absolutely have to get done.
When you can automate the regular things you do, you are able to prioritize the things that will help you level-up your life.
Try this:
In order to feel successful today, I need to_________________________.
In order to feel successful this week, I need to______________________.
In order to feel successful this month, I need to_____________________.
I want this year to be filled with success, so I need to prioritize___________________.
Wondering what kind of rituals you should implement? I can’t tell you what you need to do, but I do know that rituals will give all your other actions greater depth and value.
Prayer/meditation
Exercise
Journaling
Drinking coffee/tea
Connecting with friends in person or online
Working on a passion project
Don’t all these things sound so simple?
That’s the point! They are simple, so simple in fact that you wonder why you haven’t incorporated them into your daily routine before now. We pray sometimes (like when someone asks us to) or we go to the gym sometimes (like when we don’t have anything else to do). What would it look like if instead you created a system and a plan for doing the little things that make all the big things possible?
Automate everything you can, and you’ll discover in yourself a high achiever who has more time for the things that matter to you and the people you love.
To your success!
Chantel